In the last post I ended by mentioning
how, far too often, much beauty is not seen, or at least appreciated, until it
is missed. Before we look at a solution
to this unfortunate reality, first a question – Why is this a problem in the
first place? If there is beauty all
around us, then why do we either miss or not appreciate it?
While there are many reasons why this
happens, it seems a major component of this is that we spend far too much time
wishing away our present circumstances, or at least longing for different
ones. Why? We are creatures of comfort. Furthermore, our culture conditions us to
want more and more comfort.
Air Conditioning. Huh?
Air Conditioning is a prime example of culture conditioning us for
comfort. A generation ago AC was a
luxury in homes and automobiles. Today it
is basically viewed as a necessity. Let
me be clear, my intent is not to dismiss deaths due to extremely high
temperatures and a lack of cool air (this is tragic). Nor is my intent to dismiss the real
inconvenience of an AC unit stopping when temperatures have been near or in
excess of 100 degrees for weeks. Yet it
is an inconvenience…right?
TV (e.g., ‘basic’, Cable, Dish, etc.). Once again, Huh? I found it interesting that last May some of
my Facebook friends had their lives thrown into chaos due to the tornado that
ripped through Joplin Missouri.
Meanwhile, I had other Facebook friends who were complaining about their
poor cable or Dish TV reception. This is
not to label those complaining about the inconvenience of TV interruption as
petty, or evil or anything…but it is just that isn’t it – an
inconvenience? Interestingly, quite
often it seems more and more people view multiple TV channels as a right, if
not a necessity.
Anyway, there are many more examples of
being conditioned for comfort. Yet why
does this matter? It matters because if
we are not careful we run the real risk of wishing away the present and
therefore missing the beauty of it all around us. In the last post I mostly focused on
beautiful scenery. Yet here we will
consider beauty in the common moments of life.
They are there, but we have to be attentive and live in the
present. Yet again, far too often we run
the risk of longing for something better; either the “promise” of the future or
“the good old days” of the past. While
memories and hopes certainly have their place in life, we need to be careful –
and even intentional – to not allow them to crowd out the beauty and reality
(that will never be experienced again) of the present.
Our recent trip to Colorado for a
wedding was a good one; yet it was far from perfect. A simple case in point is the difficulty of a
wedding day schedule for those who have small children (i.e., us). Yet let us be honest, practically any event
poses challenges to schedules and small children. Therefore, what follows is in no way a
critique of the wedding (it was quite wonderful – the whole day)…just some reflections
and how reflecting both helps me to grow and exposes how much I need to
grow.
With an 11am wedding in a park there are
limited nap options for Charis (who was one on May 27th). Oh yeah, I need to let you know I can be
quite protective of our children; i.e., I can get upset when things that could
have been avoided make life difficult for them.
With that disclaimer, if I had focused my energy on how my little girl (Charis)
was missing her nap I would have missed out on the pleasure of playing with
both Ellei and Charis in the park while waiting for the wedding (we had to be
there early for Melissa as she was involved in the music). Furthermore, I likely would have kept to
myself (something I often do when upset) and not have initiated a conversation
with “Volcav”, who I found out is a student at Colorado State University from
Serbia. We had a delightful
conversation, albeit shorter than I wanted, while I played with Ellei and
Charis and he played with Llana (his 16 month old daughter).
Weddings have pictures; for this wedding
they were planned for after the ceremony.
This meant a gap between the ceremony and the meal. Aware of this the bride and groom arranged
for snacks at a nearby church building prior to their arrival and the meal
proper. I could have been upset about
the time gap, concerned about my hungry and tired children, etc. Yet rather than “wishing away the present” I
sought to enjoy it. Among other things
this time gap gave me an opportunity to have a precious moment with
Charis. After our snack I found a room,
turned on a fan, and laid down on a couch.
I will forever treasure this “Daddy-Charis nap” as I got some needed
sleep and she slept on my chest for nearly an hour. Later, after the nap and following meal, there
was the enjoyment of (rather than being concerned how Ellei missed her nap) watching
Ellei dance with “new friends” – using all of her energy (both normal and “tired”
energy) to have a great time. It was
also quite enjoyable, no – it was beautiful, to join in dancing with Ellei
along with Melissa and Charis. One of
the many things I love about Ellei…she is so “out there” if you will. She is still tender and naïve to much of the
world. While this can (and does) lead to
getting hurt (or disappointed), her view of life is also a great reminder that
as adults we are often too guarded.
There were other occurrences on the trip
that made it enjoyable. Not all of them
were what would normally be called “good” or “pleasant” – but yet seeking to
live in the present has a way of changing my perspective.
The past is just that, the future will
inevitably come, but the present is all we can experience right now – don’t
miss it. [and please keep this statement
in context]
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