Beauty Where You Are...Circumstances

In the last post I ended by mentioning how, far too often, much beauty is not seen, or at least appreciated, until it is missed.  Before we look at a solution to this unfortunate reality, first a question – Why is this a problem in the first place?  If there is beauty all around us, then why do we either miss or not appreciate it?   

While there are many reasons why this happens, it seems a major component of this is that we spend far too much time wishing away our present circumstances, or at least longing for different ones.  Why?  We are creatures of comfort.  Furthermore, our culture conditions us to want more and more comfort. 

Air Conditioning.  Huh?  Air Conditioning is a prime example of culture conditioning us for comfort.  A generation ago AC was a luxury in homes and automobiles.  Today it is basically viewed as a necessity.  Let me be clear, my intent is not to dismiss deaths due to extremely high temperatures and a lack of cool air (this is tragic).  Nor is my intent to dismiss the real inconvenience of an AC unit stopping when temperatures have been near or in excess of 100 degrees for weeks.  Yet it is an inconvenience…right? 

TV (e.g., ‘basic’, Cable, Dish, etc.).  Once again, Huh?  I found it interesting that last May some of my Facebook friends had their lives thrown into chaos due to the tornado that ripped through Joplin Missouri.  Meanwhile, I had other Facebook friends who were complaining about their poor cable or Dish TV reception.  This is not to label those complaining about the inconvenience of TV interruption as petty, or evil or anything…but it is just that isn’t it – an inconvenience?  Interestingly, quite often it seems more and more people view multiple TV channels as a right, if not a necessity. 

Anyway, there are many more examples of being conditioned for comfort.  Yet why does this matter?  It matters because if we are not careful we run the real risk of wishing away the present and therefore missing the beauty of it all around us.  In the last post I mostly focused on beautiful scenery.  Yet here we will consider beauty in the common moments of life.  They are there, but we have to be attentive and live in the present.  Yet again, far too often we run the risk of longing for something better; either the “promise” of the future or “the good old days” of the past.  While memories and hopes certainly have their place in life, we need to be careful – and even intentional – to not allow them to crowd out the beauty and reality (that will never be experienced again) of the present. 

Our recent trip to Colorado for a wedding was a good one; yet it was far from perfect.  A simple case in point is the difficulty of a wedding day schedule for those who have small children (i.e., us).  Yet let us be honest, practically any event poses challenges to schedules and small children.  Therefore, what follows is in no way a critique of the wedding (it was quite wonderful – the whole day)…just some reflections and how reflecting both helps me to grow and exposes how much I need to grow.  

With an 11am wedding in a park there are limited nap options for Charis (who was one on May 27^th).  Oh yeah, I need to let you know I can be quite protective of our children; i.e., I can get upset when things that could have been avoided make life difficult for them.  With that disclaimer, if I had focused my energy on how my little girl (Charis) was missing her nap I would have missed out on the pleasure of playing with both Ellei and Charis in the park while waiting for the wedding (we had to be there early for Melissa as she was involved in the music).  Furthermore, I likely would have kept to myself (something I often do when upset) and not have initiated a conversation with “Volcav”, who I found out is a student at Colorado State University from Serbia.  We had a delightful conversation, albeit shorter than I wanted, while I played with Ellei and Charis and he played with Llana (his 16 month old daughter). 

Weddings have pictures; for this wedding they were planned for after the ceremony.  This meant a gap between the ceremony and the meal.  Aware of this the bride and groom arranged for snacks at a nearby church building prior to their arrival and the meal proper.  I could have been upset about the time gap, concerned about my hungry and tired children, etc.  Yet rather than “wishing away the present” I sought to enjoy it.  Among other things this time gap gave me an opportunity to have a precious moment with Charis.  After our snack I found a room, turned on a fan, and laid down on a couch.  I will forever treasure this “Daddy-Charis nap” as I got some needed sleep and she slept on my chest for nearly an hour.  Later, after the nap and following meal, there was the enjoyment of (rather than being concerned how Ellei missed her nap) watching Ellei dance with “new friends” – using all of her energy (both normal and “tired” energy) to have a great time.  It was also quite enjoyable, no – it was beautiful, to join in dancing with Ellei along with Melissa and Charis.  One of the many things I love about Ellei…she is so “out there” if you will.  She is still tender and naïve to much of the world.  While this can (and does) lead to getting hurt (or disappointed), her view of life is also a great reminder that as adults we are often too guarded. 

There were other occurrences on the trip that made it enjoyable.  Not all of them were what would normally be called “good” or “pleasant” – but yet seeking to live in the present has a way of changing my perspective. 

The past is just that, the future will inevitably come, but the present is all we can experience right now – don’t miss it.  [and please keep this statement in context] 

Beauty Where You Are...

If I were a more tech-savvy person I would post a few photos to spruce this post up a bit (not to mention fix the background of an earlier blog post, or two).  However, until I get more up to date you can close your eyes and imagine with me…well, after reading a bit further that is.  Just be sure to reopen them to continue reading. 

This past weekend we (wife Melissa and daughters Ellei and Charis) headed to Colorado for a friend’s wedding.  It was an enjoyable trip despite my tirechanging practice and lessons learned in parenting (future post).  In fact, I am going to post some thoughts and reflections on the trip both here and in subsequent posts. 

First, I will address the title of this post, “Beauty Where You Are”.  As most reading this will know, I live in Kansas.  I have lived here for all but two of my sojourning years on this earth to date.  I like it here.  I remember when we lived in Illinois (without our daughters, well, Ellei was in the womb for a few months while there) for a two years it was not uncommon for someone to quip one of two responses after learning of the state from which we had moved.  One was practically always hilarious to the person asking, and it went something like, “Oh, how is Toto doing?” or something like that.  While it did not bother me, on more than one occasion I thought of bursting out in laughter and after gathering myself 30 seconds or so later say something like, “Wow, I have never heard that before…you are so funny!!!” or “He’s dead.”   

The other relatively common response went something like, “Oh Kansas, that’s the long state we have to drive through to get to Colorado”.  I cannot remember saying the exact words, but I do recall thinking after a remark or two like that, “Why don’t you just move to Kansas and save some drive time?”  The implication of course being how the scenery of Illinois is pretty much the same as that of Kansas – i.e., “flat”. 

Granted, neither all of Illinois, nor all of Kansas is flat – and yes I do realize there is a state between those two as well.  The point is, far too often people fail to see beauty where they are.  Far too often people long for something other than what is right before them.  Granted, the mountains of Colorado are quite scenic.  I think it would be refreshing to see them day in and day out.  Yet after a while I imagine even they would run the risk of becoming “old hat” if you will. 

Truthfully, there is much great scenery in Kansas.  I would suggest getting an “8 Wonders of Kansas Guidebook”.  If you do, or you click here, you will see there is more than physical scenery that is a “Wonder” in Kansas (as is the case in any state).  This same line of thinking goes for the aspect of beauty where you are.  But that is another post. 

In the meantime, you must also not forget the beauty of right where you live.  I am not saying going to a “scenic” spot on vacation is a waste of time or anything like that.  Yet far too often we miss the beauty right in front of our face. 

One of my favorite views is from the back cement porch at my parent’s home.  I have seen it thousands of times in my life.  Granted, I see it far less often now than when I first learned to appreciate it several years ago, but I still take the time to marvel at God’s creation through that view in particular when I am back there.  Funny, I imagine it became one of my favorite scenic views after I moved out…or was at least away to college. 

Oh the irony of how much beauty is not seen, or at least appreciated, until it is missed.  Irony? or Tragedy?  Whichever it is, there is a solution to it…